oc-tavia asked: I'm trying to learn how to communicate with my dad more... Any advice helpful advice you can give me?
I think the key to bettering your relationship with your dad is to focus on the improvements you can make. Both of you need to find something to connect and bond over to get an understanding. I know it’s hard to relate, especially because you’re different on so many levels. But it’s just about sitting down with Pops and trying to work things out. Organize more lunch dates, ask him what’s new, have him teach you something…
It’ll always be rocky at first, that’s inevitable. But I promise, it’ll eventually blossom into the awesome father-daughter relationship you’re hoping for. :)
prendre-voiture asked: My heart is literally broken into a million pieces. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago and he's already going to prom with someone else. He made so many promises to me and now he's breaking all of them. I miss him, because he was my best friend. He left me with nothing but feelings and memories and I feel like the only thing to do is hate him. How do I get over this it hurts so badly :(
Well, hating him won’t solve anything, so don’t do that. Just try to block him from your life. Don’t look at what he’s doing, who he’s talking to, or anything like that. I know breakups are hard, trust me. But it’s a breakup because it’s broken.
Wipe your mind clean of him with new distractions and new boys! ;)
Make collages of things you want in life. Have a girl’s night with your friends. Buy new clothes you feel confident in. Read a good book that won’t make you miss him. Do little things for yourself and it’ll help, I promise. You’ve put so much of your energy and time into this boy, it’s about time you give yourself some TLC. You deserve the world and more. He was one bad frog you kissed, so now you have to try again to find the right one. Don’t let him bring you down when you can be busy building yourself up. :)
Anonymous asked: Hey I wanted to ask if you have any advice for final exams? I always get really lazy and anxious and I'm also having a hard time those years with stuff happening in my life and I can't find the courage to do pretty much anything in my life let alone study. What should I do?
Pace yourself. Balance everything out. Find a way to time manage all your exams. I know what it’s like and if you sit there staring at your English notes for two hours, it gets boring and all the words jumble together. Spread it out.
Study an hour for English, then an hour for your history/economics/etc.
Break. Relax. Eat some apple slices with peanut butter to keep your brain going.
Doing science and math together is easier. Work on some math problems. Do at least a quarter of your study guide. Same with science.
Switch back to English. Do some grammar.
Break. Stretch, do some exercise to keep the blood flowing.
Go back to the history/whatever. Read over more English. Memorize some science formulas. Try to do more of your math study guide.
It’s all about time management and not over working yourself.
You’re smart, you got this. Your grade is for a sheet of paper, not your self-worth. I believe you can pass this, get past it, and I know you’ll be proud of yourself. No matter what you get on your exams, know that I’ll be cheering you on and I’ll always be proud of you. If you get stuck, don’t worry. Move past it and go back later. You’re not a failure or anything.
Get some motivation and encourage yourself to get it done! No stress, babydoll. Take as much time as you need— steady and slow wins the race. Good luck :)
Anonymous asked: is it weird to have a crush on your guidance counselor? isn't it the same like with a teacher?
I guess it’s relatively the same, but I don’t think it’s smart. I know you can’t control your feelings, but that’s asking for trouble, love. Try to tell yourself they’re old enough to be a parent… one of your mom or dad’s friends… ew. :(
Anonymous asked: I have this feeling in my gut that if me and my crush were together we could make great things happen. Should I follow my intuition?
Yes. If the feelings are there, do something about it. It’s better to act on it than to wonder “what if” and end up regretting letting the opportunity go by.
Anonymous asked: could you give me a detailed response on how to make friends at a new school as a sophmore please?
Well, at least you made it past freshman year, haha! Sophomore year is the easiest because it’s most of the stuff you learned from the year before. You just have to relax, pace yourself, and stay out of drama.
If you want to make new friends, try within your classes— that’s a given.
It all goes back to being yourself. If you’re going to try and be invisible, you’ll stay that way and people will think you’re hiding from them like you purposely want nobody to bother you.
If you hear someone talking about something you know a little about, join in the conversation. Never try to compromise and fit their standards. Try to relate instead. Hearing different opinions are refreshing. Remain confident, that’s attractive! Someone who knows what they’re talking about and will stand up for what they believe in is definitely alluring. It doesn’t have to be debatable topics, just things you know enough about to carry a conversation with a stranger. Maybe you’ll meet a lifelong friend over just the topic of “which TV show should be taken off the air.” :)
Transferring schools is never easy, but I did it in high school, too. So I definitely feel your anxiety. Just know that it all works out and remember that in these three years you have left, you’re bound to have close friends. The best of friends usually come from your extracurricular classes because you already have a common interest.
It’ll take some time to get the hang of things, but I promise, you’ll make it. :)
The best advice I can give you is to always be yourself. You’re growing up so I know you’re going to go through phases and try to be a certain way to draw people towards you, but never forget who you really are. It’s hard to hold onto that when you’re in high school because the pressure to be perfect is so high.
Bottom line, high school morphs you into who you’ll be for the future. It can be the most amazing four years or the worst. It’s school for a reason so keep your grades up, that’s a priority. Get on good terms with your teachers; trust me, it helps a ton. Don’t stick to one group of people and play it safe. Get to know everyone and their stories— I swear, it changes you for the better. Meeting people who have different perspectives is incredible. Cliques are overrated and boring. When you get the opportunity to meet some of the greatest people, don’t waste it!
Caring about what other people think is what’s going to weigh you down, so don’t let it. Listen, you’re great. You’re destined for success and a grade on a bad test isn’t your grade on life. You’re going to make a lot of new friends. Just think, to them, you’re like the shiny new toy thrown in the toy box of all the toys they’ve known for years.
Be you, don’t be afraid of change, accept challenges, remain confident, gain respect, and laugh.
You’re a teenager. You have to be young and stupid before you get old and wise. So live it up! Enjoy your summer because the school year has the potential to be even better! :)
Anonymous asked: how do i make a boy like me i talk to him but not that much just when we see each other but i really want him to like me
You can’t make a boy like you. He’s not a robot that you can program to have feelings for you, haha :)
Don’t try to fit his idea of a “perfect girl.” If he likes cars, don’t suddenly act like you’re the next NASCAR girl. Just ask him about it, let him teach you about the things he’s passionate about. Guaranteed he’ll like somebody just listening to what he has to say and taking interest in what he loves. That gives you bonus points. Plus, you’re getting to know him which is important. Share interests and that’ll spark more conversations.
Making him laugh is another great way to catch his attention. If he thinks you’re funny, he’ll want to hear more from you. It shows you’re different, you don’t try to stay hidden or fit in. You’re more about being comfortable, witty, and most importantly: yourself.
Dudes will like the girl who is confident with who she is as a person, shows respect for other people, and likes to have fun. Just let loose, you’re a human being. Worrying about what to do in the spotlight makes you get nervous and you act… not you.
If he doesn’t like who you are, then I guess he’s not the guy for you and that’s okay. Because you know what?
Another guy across the room is probably thinking “how do I get that girl to like me?”
Anonymous asked: how can i come out to my best friend and parents?
Well, I don’t know your friends or your parents so I can’t predict how they’ll react to it. What I want you to understand is that even though this is probably going to be one of the most difficult obstacles in your life, it’ll have the greatest reward in the end. You deserve to be happy, please remember that.
If I were you, I would sit down with your best friend first. If they’re really you’re best friend, they’ll do their job by supporting you regardless of the consequences. They’re supposed to build you up, not tear you down!
Just explain to him/her that it was hard to tell them, but they need to know. You want them to be accepting of your sexuality and the most important thing is to remind them that regardless of who you like, you have always been the same person. You’re still the best friend they had yesterday and you’ll be the best friend of theirs tomorrow.
As for your parents, I’m sure this will be scary. The best you can do is just to be yourself and honest. Be gentle with bringing it up and if they start to protest, don’t argue back. Explain to them that this is who you are and you shouldn’t have to apologize for that. It may take some time but your parents love you. In the end, you’re their baby and they would do anything for you. Especially to see you happy.
I wish you the best of luck, love. After this, a huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders. At the end of the day, you’ll be glad you spoke up. I promise everything will work out in the end. It always does.
I know you’re nervous, but you got this! You’re not alone because we support and love you, even if the people you see everyday won’t. I believe in you 10,000% :)
Anonymous asked: um hey sel. i just wanted 2 sing u a very special song. i am singin it for my school's talent show and um well here it goes. CAUSE I DONT WANNA LOSE YA NOW. IM LOOKIN RIGHT AT THE OTHER HALF OF ME. THE VACANCY THAT SAT IN MA HEARRTTTT IS DA SPACE THAT NOW YOU HOLDD. SHOW ME HOW TO FIGHT FOR NOW. AND I TELL YOU BBY, IT WAS EEEASSSYY COMIN BACK INTO YOU ONCE I FIGURED IT OUTTTT. U WERE RIGHT HERE ALL ALONGGGG. bye sel i love you.
That was beautiful.
You’ll win the talent show, for sure ;)
Anonymous asked: Hi. I'm 21 years old, and I am a virgin, never had my first kiss, first boyfriend, first date or anything like that. I kinda blame it on the fact that I never really had any friends when I was a teenager; Knowing that I was never really around people, because I wasn't in school past 8th grade. Because I know guys thought I was pretty. I'm at that point where everyone just assumes you've experienced all of that. Idk how to go about saying it when I'm close to experiencing it. How would you do it?
You worry too much.
Stop over analyzing your life and just live it. Who cares if you’re 21 and haven’t experienced the “firsts” yet? There’s no expiration date for that, so don’t worry about rushing it. When it’s time, it’ll happen.
If your friends ask you then just say that it’s none of their business because it’s not. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed. I know plenty of people who are in the same situation. Rushing love and relationships means they’ll end just as quickly as they started. Take your time, enjoy everything you’ve got now.
Just live. :)
Anonymous asked: thank you :/ i just feel as if.. when i find someone else to be with and this person means everything to me, they will think something bad of me because i'm not a virgin. do you think that will happen? i can't regret it though because at the time it's what i wanted.. but i just hope i didn't make a mistake
I can guarantee that will not happen. If by some chance that some guy will, then I guess he’s not the one to be investing all your energy and time on. Listen, it’s in the past. It’s already been done and the best thing you can do right now is accept that and move on.
You’re not a virgin, but that doesn’t make you any less of a person. Who cares? It’s not like that’s all you have to your personality. You’re sweet, funny, and smart. If someone is going to be a douchebag just because you’ve had sex with your ex boyfriend while y’all we’re together, then screw them (pun intended).
You’re a beautiful girl with a beautiful personality. No guy should turn you down just because of your past. It’s okay, you didn’t make a mistake. You’re human. :)
Anonymous asked: me and this guy were together. everyone knew we were a thing and we made it very obvious. we had an instant connection. he met my parents like a million times and they loved him. he took my viginity.. and i totally okay with that and everything was great like i felt comfortable giving it away to him because he meant so much to me and i have always waited for the right guy. 2 weeks later he stopped talking to me. i cant help but feel regret.. does this make me a bad person for giving it to him?
Not at all. You were in a relationship with someone who meant a lot to you and there was real feelings there. Just because it didn’t end in marriage, doesn’t mean you should regret it. Things don’t always work out but you have to look back at it and say that at least you two were together and happy. If he stopped talking to you for no reason, ask him about it. Confront the problem and work it out. Maybe it doesn’t have to be over. :)
Anonymous asked: My sister is really mad at me for absolutely no reason. She won't tell me why and she says I'm doing right now whenever I text her. Everyone always tells me she's so mean to me but I don't wanna lose her because she's my best and only real friend. I don't know what to do.
Give her some space. Maybe she feels like you’re smothering her and she just needs some time to herself. More than likely, it’s not you. If she won’t tell you what’s wrong, let it go and allow her to have personal time to get over whatever she’s going through. Just be there for her when she needs you to be. You’re not going to lose her, she’s family! It’ll be over soon. :)
evenings-possibilities asked: I really, really love your blog and i was just wondering if you could tell your followers to check out my new poetry blog and msg me what they think of it as I'm still a beginner and still learning. I would really appreciate it and i also follow back. Thank you so much. xx
jaiourboy asked: theres this boy and I've liked him for over 2 years now, we was together last summer, and he messaged me on thursday night, saying he 'liked' me. He asked me if i liked him, and i said yes, and the next day he asked me if i meant it and i said yes, and he said he did, but he hasnt spoken to me since then and its bringing me down and upsetting me, like to the point its kept me up at night. i really need someone to tell this too. help?x
Hm, that’s weird.
Ask him why he’s being so distant, especially after you two had that talk. Also ask him where his feelings lye and try to talk everything out. If feelings and chemistry are there, make it happen! I think you two just need better communication, if anything. I hope everything works out, love!